It's time to focus on yourself in 2020

The main reason that I’m writing this post, more than anything else, is for myself, because it’s something I’ve struggled with for years, I care too much and I always put myself and what I want into the background. It causes me to miss out on a lot of my goals, and although for some it might seem like a situation that’s simple to get out of by changing a few habits, it’s also easy to get stuck in your ways, something I’m determined to work towards getting on of next year, so I thought I’d share my ideas for solutions with you guys.

Social media comparisons

I find that, for myself (and I’m sure others too), social media can turn into a real black hole of endless scrolling if you don’t recognise what you’re doing or what you’re using it for. I quite often look at the profiles of those I admire and what they’re up to, and it leaves me feeling super motivated and inspired, which then quickly turns into me feeling defeated and deflated. I ask myself why I haven’t achieved their level of success and what I’m doing wrong.

I’m not one of those people who feels like that because I believe that the person got lucky or had it easy, I know they worked hard, and I know that I work hard, so it makes me analyse everything that I do, why I’m doing it, and how it differs from what they’re doing. Which in a way is good, it’s great to occasionally figure out what’s working and what’s not, but doing it constantly creates an unreal amount of pressure on myself for these changes to work for me, without really ever trying them out for a long enough period for them to have any affect at all. Plus, everyone is different and different things work for different people, that’s just natural.

If you’re feeling a similar way, I think the best thing is firstly, have a social media break, which is something I do every year, I delete all of the apps off of my phone and don’t post anything. I can still check things once a week, mainly messages, but the removal of that constant social pressure works wonders. I’ve also been making a massive effort to hardly check my social media anyway, I’ll pick up my phone, tap the app and by that time I’m already reminding myself that I need to break this pattern, so I put my phone back down. More than anything it’s just simply about being aware of yourself and the patterns you have.

I also think one thing that I really need to focus on, which would probably work for you if you’re having similar feelings, is to appreciate what you’ve got now and to have fun with everything that you do. Looking up what others do is all well and good, but all it does is wastes time which I could be using to focus on myself and my own work. I think it’s important to remember in times like these that your only competition should be yourself.

Stop distractions

I’m terrible for procrastinating, especially when I’m working on an absolutely amazing project, because it scares me and I don’t want to do a bad job. So instead, I will find a ridiculous amount of tasks to do that really aren’t that urgent, chores, getting a shower, going to the shop, clearing out an area of the house etc. All the while I’m managing to convince myself that it’s okay because I was getting stressed with work and ‘needed a break’. In some cases it’s true, but most of the time when I do it I’ve been working for no more than 20-30 minutes.

The one thing that massively helped me to overcome this, and something I have to constantly remind myself of and put into place, (because these things don’t just happen overnight) was this video. There is no secret to overcoming distraction and procrastination, the main thing is to just get started and keep going, don’t wait for motivation because that will kick in and build up once you begin. It’s hard, but it makes no sense for these things to be easy, and if they were, you’d feel no satisfaction once you overcame them. I also find that turning my phone onto silent and turning off the WiFi on all of my devices (gather your reference first) helps so much to stay in my own world.

Think about where you want to adventure to next

I worded it in this way because I’ve realised that over the past years all I’ve ever done is worry about the future and worry about how to get there, it’s constantly stressed me out and made me feel depressed because I feel like I’ll never get there. I’ve always been looking so far ahead without enjoying anything in the short term, it’s important to think about your future, but what’s more important is to think about, and focus on what makes you happy now. Throughout all those years of worrying and stress, I’ve never really appreciated what I’ve achieved so far and where I am today. It’s all about perspective and I can either see it as ‘I’ll never get to where I want to be’ or ‘even a year ago, I never thought I’d be where I am today, never mind when I started’.

I used to have so much fun with my work, I created purely for the fun of it, I enjoyed doing it and it didn’t really matter to me what people thought. That’s changed so much now because I feel like there’s an expectation on my shoulders, even though there isn’t, and I think it shows in my work. I don’t create (all types of content) as often and I’m constantly shooting myself down mentally.

If you feel like you’re in a similar situation, what I’ve realised is that this feeling, and the way I react is just a negative habit that I’ve learned over the years by telling myself so many negative thoughts. There are a few things that I’m doing to get back out of this (that have worked before) combined with what I’ve talked about above to revert or change this habit.

Firstly, I’m going to start keeping a sketchbook again which I don’t show to anyone, there’s no pressure to take a photo of it for Instagram, because no one will see it apart from me, not even those close to me, this worked amazingly for me last time and really improved my creative output. I’m also going to write down a lot of thoughts on what I like to draw and create, not what I should create for a purpose, focusing on what you enjoy and your passions shows much more clearly in your work than just doing it for some external reasoning. Another thing that helps add to my previous point but is also helpful in its own way is to go back through your old content (not just art, but blogs, social media, videos etc.) and note down what are your favourite pieces and why, what did you really enjoy doing? You can never recreate that work but if you understand why it made you feel the way it did and why it brought you happiness, you can use those ideas to carry over into future work.

Stop your suffering and do what makes you happy

All in all, what I’ve realised over these past few years and what I’d like to change going into not just a new year, but also a new decade, is that I’ve wasted so much time worrying instead of enjoying, and being proud of what I’ve done/am doing. I need to stop living in the online world so much and come back into my own. I’ve worked really hard to be where I am today and I should really be making the most of that rather than feeling like i'm not meeting some imaginary standards.

Becoming self aware and self reflection are both really important to me, and they’re both something I’ve not done so well with this year. I’ve completely lost sight of my goals and what I enjoy for the sake of chasing something that I thought I wanted and which doesn’t exist (someone else’s version of success), rather than directing my focus and energy into the present and working towards what I enjoy doing, not what I think I should be doing.

I know this was a bit more a diary-type post than anything else, but it’s something I want to do more of in 2020 as I think it’s important to be transparent about being a creative freelancer, so let me know what you think about that idea! Thank you for reading as always!