Sometimes you just have to scrap everything and start over.

As you probably know if you’ve read my blog before or if you follow me on social media I’ve been struggling with my creativity for a couple of years now. Even now it feels so strange to say that because I am an artist and I feel like I should always have creativity that’s thriving, but I’m also human and life happens! I used to be super creative, I always had new ideas and I was fearless when it came to trying new things…but something changed. I still to this day can’t really pinpoint exactly what it was but I think the combination of switching from full time freelance to full time teaching, COVID-19 and having some bad patches with my physical and mental health likely all contributed to it.

Recently though, I started reading and implementing a book called ‘The Artist’s Way’. I’m only 5 weeks in so far, but I can already say for sure I’ve seen some positive changes in myself and I’ve really started to see where my problems are and where they might have stemmed from. As part of The Artist’s Way, you have to write something called ‘morning pages’ each morning which are usually 3 pages of stream of consciousness writing done first thing in the morning. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t really see the point when I started doing them but the difference it’s made to my mindset and ability to think and focus in general is definitely noticeable. I think even just the ability to empty my brain first thing is saving me a lot of distraction throughout the day. Even writing this blog post I’m surprised at how much I’m just typing out without worrying if it’s good enough. If this was any time in the past 2-3 years, what I’ve written so far would’ve taken me hours due to constant uncertainty.

As I’m only 5 weeks in, I’m not writing this to report back on my experience (just yet!) but I do want to talk about something I did recently; which was scrapping all of my personal work that I’ve started in the last few years. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with your personal work, if you have loads of projects or don’t even know where to start, this might be helpful to you. The first and most important thing though, is to figure out what the problem actually is.

Understanding what the problem is.

Part of my struggle over the last few years has definitely been feeling constantly overwhelmed, especially when it came to my personal projects. I had so many ideas, but not enough time for all of those ideas. Additionally, I didn’t realize at the time that I was also creating content for teaching and often working my personal projects into any teaching content where it was relevant. I had projects ranging from weapon design to world building to even launching a clothing line, it was a lot but I knew I could tackle it if I just did it one at a time. 

The problem was though, each project was a decent size and within each project was something I was already pretty skilled at (eg. character design, merch design etc.) alongside lots of things that I had no idea about. So as soon as I sat down to tackle the art side, I realised how much I needed to learn about narrative writing, brand design, environmental storytelling etc. leaving me instantly feeling like I was being suffocated to the point I had to get up and do something else. The answer to this was clearly to scrap some projects and only focus on one at a time, which is easy to say from an outside perspective and definitely not the perspective I had when I was deep in the projects. The answer I had was more planning, I needed to plan everything to the tiniest detail, every small task, I needed Wikis for each project, timelines, things to learn, my Notion was kitted out as if I was running a small studio. However, that was part of the problem, I was (and still am) one person working full time with only an hour or two spare each night to work on my own thing.

This cycle went on for 2 years and the worst part was whenever I sat down and really took a step back, I couldn’t believe how much time had passed and I’d literally done nothing, I’d made no progress on any of the projects I’d planned or started on. When I started The Artist’s Way and I properly focused on reflecting and getting to the bottom of any worries or feelings of frustration and anger that came up, this was one that came up early. I realised quite quickly that most of these issues were down to 1. my need to finish everything and 2. the amount of time I’d been working on these projects. Everytime I start something I feel like I need to finish it, everything needs to end up how I envisioned it, when in reality, it’s better to let go of any ideas that just aren’t working or aren’t great, especially when you don’t have a lot of free time. Additionally, I’d been on and off working on these projects for 2-3 years and I’ve grown since then. I want to try new things now but because I wanted these projects to be portfolio pieces and an extension of what I’d already created, it felt like they needed to match what I’d already started. It was tough to admit but I realised that these projects were really holding me back, they didn’t need to be but I had so much guilt attached to them that I needed to let go of.

If any of this sounds familiar at all, hopefully the next few paragraphs will help!

Scrap everything…for now!

I knew I was holding onto some of my projects because they had potential, but there were other things in my life I needed to figure out and I needed to prioritize. Life has its different chapters and it’s okay if each chapter focuses on different things for a while to move the story forward. I knew I personally needed to do something drastic because I’m an all or nothing person. So I decided to just scrap all of my personal projects at least just for now, which might sound extreme but it’s a good way to just remove a big part of what might be making you feel overwhelmed and stressed. I did try just focusing on one project for a while but I had a habit of slowly introducing another project and thinking “two projects at a time is fine, it’s something to switch between”. It just made sense to scrap everything altogether.

This doesn’t mean you’re completely throwing everything away, you can come back to it, but it is important to approach this fully committed rather than just choosing not to work on any personal projects. What I did was put all of my in-progress personal projects into a folder on both my PC and iPad and named it “SHELVED”, so it’s still there, but I never see it. I never open my PC or Procreate and see a piece of work and think “I should finish that”. I even did the same with my Notion, any pages that were dedicated to personal project planning are now just called “SHELVED”, I don’t see them, I don’t feel the need to click on them and I genuinely haven’t done since I implemented it over a month ago. It might sound like a pointless step because you already have the choice to work on them or not, but just removing them from your attention opens up space in your brain for other things.

Start fresh and as small as possible.

At some point, you are going to want to start fresh, however I would advise against doing this too quickly. Shelving projects to open space in your brain for other things doesn’t mean to create space for the next project, focus on yourself for a little while. Chances are if you’ve burned out you’ve got a little lost and probably forgot what hobbies you enjoy, what makes you feel creatively fulfilled or what you enjoy creating. It doesn’t mean you can’t be creative, but do creative things that are more about play, remove that pressure from yourself. I built some Lego which I haven’t done since I was a kid and thoroughly enjoyed it. I have started scrapbooking again, both for memories and in my sketchbook too and I’ve got more into gardening.

It’s important to let yourself find your passions and inspirations again and slowly reintroduce artwork back into your life. It’s easy to let creating art work take over all of your free time, but that’s exactly what leads to burn out and having a balance between creating and experiencing life is essential. Once you feel ready to start creating again, start slowly and give yourself easy goals even if it feels like you’re not trying hard enough. Personally I knew I wanted to get back into daily drawing, something I used to do a few years ago but I let it slip and have struggled to make it consistent since. So my first goal was to just draw for 15 minutes a day, which felt kind of pointless but it was something. If anything, I found I always did more than 15 minutes, once I’d started I just got really into it. The pressure was so low because it’s easy to find 15 minutes to draw so I was enjoying it rather than getting stressed about it. I’ve now been drawing every single day for about 3 weeks and I look forward to it again, I want to do that instead of watch something or play a game.

So make it easier for yourself, start small and maybe stay small if that works for you! But starting small in general will give yourself some easy wins and allow you to accomplish some targets and goals again without them feeling overwhelming.

Which leads me onto my next point….

No ‘Projects’ for a while!

Stepping away a little, slowing down and making positive changes in your life will inevitably make you feel better overall and more than likely more motivated. There will come a point where you will feel ready to dive back in and start your next project but as I mentioned, it’s much better to hold off for a while. I think as artists it’s quite natural to be inspired by something new or be feeling better in ourselves and want to jump into the next thing, but it’s important to avoid falling into the same trap.

Something I’ve been doing is just tackling prompts, doing studies or drawing random things without the pressure of thinking ‘I need to make this into a product’ or ‘this could be so cool to develop into a whole world’. I guess I still have those thoughts in all honesty but I’m just much better now at not acting on them! I don’t know if there’s a certain time frame to stay away from bigger projects, I guess we are all different when it comes to that! But I’m personally giving myself until I finish The Artist’s Way (7 weeks left) before I take on anything bigger again. Even then, I’ll definitely be scaling back the scope and learning from my mistakes.

I hope this helps at least one person if you’re struggling with feeling overwhelmed and creatively blocked at the moment. I also highly recommend The Artist’s Way, it is a physical book but I’m currently listening to the audiobook on Spotify (although I’m tempted to get the book, it’s so good!). It’s been nice to find enjoyment in other parts of my life again and be creative in other ways and I’m sure you can find that too.